MAN LIST:
1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday Sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we!
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men don't really mind that? It's like camping.
"Shoes for Orphan Souls" are collecting donated brand new shoes to send to countries around the world where they are distributed to orphans. They have been collecting shoes throughout the month of June, but this Saturday, June 28th is the grand finale from 9:00am until 4:00pm at the Grove Community Church at 3300 W. Willow Knolls in Peoria. For more info go to shoesfororphansouls.com.
For information on cougar sitings in Illinois, please visit illinoiscougarwatch.com.
TRACK JERRY LISENBY'S 'AGE IS NOT A NUMBER' BIKE RIDE ACROSS AMERICA HERE!!
For information on Springdale Cemetery, please click HERE.
The River City Bags Classic is a bean-bag tournament benefitting St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. For More Info on how to get involved with it, please visit www.rivercitybagsclassic.com.
Families in need of family support services can get help by contacting the Crittenton Centers Crisis Nursery located at 442 W. John Gwynn Avenue in Peoria. For the Crisis Nursery call 674-4125 or visit www.crittentoncenters.org.
Want to make a difference in a kid's life? Become a Big Brother or Big Sister. Call 637-1771 or vist www.hoibbbs.org for more information.
WHOI anchor Jen Christensen has set up a website to help parents get information they might need on a variety of subjects important to them. Visit www.newsanchormom.com .
To review the new driving laws in the state of Illinois visit www.cyberdriveillinois.com.
Heart of Illinois Harvest is a not for profit food rescue program that daily transports surplus food to local food agencies for free distribution to those in need. If you would like more information call 693-0876 or visit www.hoiharvest.org.
The Keep Warm Illinois Campaign is to help with energy assistance and weatherization tips. Visit www.keepwarm.illinois.gov or call 1-877-411-9276 for information.
To recycle your old electronic equipment visit Recycling for Illinois Inc. 401 NE Rock Island Ave, Peoria. The phone number is 682-0675 or visit www.retro-tech.org.
For information on the CANDO 4:13 scholarship fun visit
Coyote Creek's coupon for May.
* Have WMBD and Coyote Creek Golf Club's logos on coupon
Buy regular green's fee for $42 ($33 for senior citizens 55+) and receive a complimentary lunch (sandwich, chips and soft drink)
* (good Monday through Thursday only).
Coupon Expiration Date June 5th, 2008
WHERE'S JERRY?
Illinois Secretary of State Office
Counseling and Family Services
Make a Wish Foundation of Illinois
Give Kids the World
Batten Disease Support and Research Association
